@#%* the South!

Ok, I think it might be time to address the election. Anyone who's had contact with me in the last week knows that I've been very troubled. I'm hoping that I've calmed down enough to look at the results rationally.

As it became obvious that we (meaning the Blue States, The United States, and The World. If W wins, the whole world loses.) lost, my redneck heritage came out. Of course, the 750ml of bourbon in me didn't hurt. I apparently (from witness accounts, as I blessedly don't remember) read W and his supporters the riot act, predicted doom and gloom for this nation, and reiterated my decision to move to the UK. Later, on a visit home, my vitriol was still spewing. Upon learning that my uncle was a big W supporter, I said to his son that if W's minions want to declare war on us they should beware. At that moment, I wanted to destroy fundamentalist culture. In a way, I still do. I can, however, write about the Blackest Tuesday without totally resorting to my base nature.

How do I begin?

Why do I hate W? Is it because he is seriously trying to amend the constitution so that I can't get married? No. There are others that are also fighting that fight, and while I would not piss on them if they were on fire (If they weren't on fire, I'd have no problem doing it), I don't hate them. Do I hate W because he despicably smeared the reputation of a good man and great candidate for president in 2000 by having Bush supported spread lies about McCain? Rove was part of that. I don't believe that I hate him...although I wouldn't deliver a Pro-life lecture to his mother.

How about Bush's escalation of the pollution of America? Nah....too many other people doing that. His insistance, after 2 buildings in the city that I lived in came down, that the best thing that Americans could do was to shop? (What happened to volunteerism? Guess "Compassionate Conservatives" don't believe in that.) That was disapointing, but it couldn't create this level of hatred in me.

Do I hate W because of the war that he started? This war wasn't begun in furtherance of democracy or peace, but because Sadamm threatened W's dad and Iraq challenged Saudi oil dominance, but way too many Congressmen and citizens were ready to cast those first stones. I don't hate them all. I do wish that they'd listened to me. Hell, being one of the few people in the nation who not only were right, but vocal about it actually makes me feel good, in a smug sort of way. Why should that make me hate him?

How about the dead bodies? I'm not talking about only the American bodies. I mean EVERY BODY that doesn't breathe because of W's war. I know that many of you have no concern for the Iraqis. Well, I do, but even if we ignore them, thousands of American citizens will be dead for the "What-Are-We-Saying-Was-The-Reason-This-Week?" War. Their lives are gone at his insistence, but the other hawks pushed as hard.

The above reasons all contribue to my hatred of W, but the strongest cause of my hatred is exactly the reason that he won the election. He represents the closed-minded views of much of the country. He won because much of America would rather complain about the effect of the poor on property values than help those poor find a job and home. He won because "Christian Values" seemingly require that any society which Christians inhabit create a totalitarian climate where bedroom freedoms are controlled by the voters. Funny...maybe I would be a Christian if I knew how to read between the lines of the Christian Bible and see where Jesus said "Thou shall prevent those outside your faith of even the smallest sense of self-worth."

I have a shirt. It satirizes the Baptist re-education camps where they brainwash homosexuals. It says "B.A.S.H." on the front, "Baptists Are Saving Homosexuals." On the back, it says "God told me to hate you." The people that laugh at the shirt invariably know that I'm not spoofing Christianity. They realize, no matter their faith, that the funny bit is that Fundamentalists commit actions which agree with what the back of my shirt says.

Do all Christians feel this way? No. I take pride in the fact that many of you realized that my marriage doesn't threaten your's. Almost half of the voters rejected the voices of hate. I forgot that for the week after the election. GOP spin doctors describing W's "mandate" and declaring that the breadth of the nation supported Does that mean we're out of the woods? Nah.

Am I still depressed? A bit, but then again, I plan on leaving this country. I'll do my part to leave it a better place than I left it, but it's your baby. And hell, some of you put your baby in the hand of the devil. The redneck in me says reap what you sew: America, feel the scourge of a W presidency; Jack, if Congress passes an anti-marriage amendment, never know the comfort of marriage; Heathra, leave Cole with a nation with huge debts and fewer friends and allies.

I still hate W. I can't think of another human being that I've ever hated. It's not a burning hatred. Then I'd be expending energy. I think he's pathetic. Do I really want my friends to suffer? No. Will I feel sad if they do? Yes, but I'm far sadder for anyone in a Blue State, any "Blue" voter, and those too young to vote.

That brings me to the title of this piece. Click on the title above, and you'll follow a link to a hillarious instruction in exactly how f-ed up Red State voters are. It also has some truly amazing facts, like, for instance, the state with the lowest divorce rate in the nation is Massachusetts. Hmm....aren't we the ones with the gay marriage? Guess it's not having to detrimental an effect.