Asses are the human race's favorite thing. We like them on each other. We like them on magazine covers. We even like them on babies. When we're alone, we like to scratch them. When there's a fire, we like to warm them. And who among us hasn't, in a lonely moment, reached back for a...discreet fondle? We love our asses. When God gave us our asses, he had to stick them 'round the back, just so that we wouldn't sit and stare at them all day. 'Cause when God made the ass, he didn't say, "Hey, it's just your basic hinge. Let's knock off early." He said, "Behold ye angels, I have created the ass! Throughout the ages to come, men and women shall grab
hold of these and shout my name."
30 January, 2005
The Bottom of the Matter
I believe that I've finally found the comedic monologue for auditions. It's a contemporary piece. I'll run a bit of a contest. The first person who can identify it, will get a prize. The prize is a copy of Stoner Flux, the card game for weed smokers. Of course, you don't have to smoke marijuana to play the game. I'm allergic to pot, and I played it. I'll be ordering some copies of that game for birthday/Chanukah gifts in 2 months, so you have until April 1 (And April Fool's Day is a great day to associate with this character) to tell me the show that this monologue is from, and the character who delivers it. Get to work!